Fleeting Dreams

I don't believe I have much to say tonight. I was feeling tired, and rather sad, so I laid down for a nap.

I just woke up, about 30 minutes ago, with an utter and complete sense of loss. I  had a dream where something happened that made me so happy, I thought I would never have to be sad again. Of course, I know that's impossible. Nothing, or no one, can give someone eternal bliss. At least, not while here on earth. Things just aren't designed that way. But, I thought that, for once, I was close.

Then, the truth hit, and I realized that none of it was real. I couldn't believe it. I had been tricked. It seemed like every sliver of happiness was ripped from my soul, in a single second.

I began to try to create memories as I thought they SHOULD have been, rather than those that actually transpired. I began to long for things that were never mine to have. I was reminded, once again, that life did not turn out as I thought I wished it would've, and that all of my past dreams from years ago were shattered.

But, I wasn't thinking about the terrible things that could've happened in the past, that didn't. I didn't give thanks to my Creator for all the times S/he has spared me. And, I have had happy memories too, such as the births of my four children, that I was conveniently forgetting. And as I longed for those things that were never mine to have, I failed to be grateful for all the wonderful blessings I HAVE received. And, even though life did not turn out as I sometimes think it should have, I would've missed out on a lot of really wonderful things and people, if that's how it had all actually worked out, in the end.

Yes, the dreams and hopes of my past ARE shattered. They're gone. But that only means one thing:

It's time to make new ones. :)